In a muddled reality of uncontrolled horizons and unexplained dimensions there remains a single constant, that aspect of the human equation without variable. Overlooking concern for applied mathematics, you find the steadfast forward progress of the internal spirit, that which drives the quest for greatness. In realms considered beyond the control of our joystick, we are mindless wonders of a virtual existence. Yet, take command of the domestic mainframe and exponentially expand your authority. Those who can tap the unrestricted faculty of this innate machine locate unparalleled capacity. Performance is owned by preparation and upkeep; plenty of hours have been logged on this console. The previous ten months of my life spent in an acrimonious hail of testosterone driven rage, never allowing the failed opportunity of last year’s regional qualifier to dissipate. Using the reminiscences of defeat as a power source, personal software was upgraded with bumper plates and sodium-laced tears. Press the start button.
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DAY I
ReplyDeleteWOD #1
150m Sprint
Rolling Burpees x 5
Max 2 pood American KBS
Every two minutes for eight minutes
Score: total KBS in eight minutes
This “sprint” was nothing more than a power walk. Anything further, your chances of accumulating swings equates to winning the Nobel Prize for an amateur porn appearance. Then, on to the highlight of the competition, “Rolling Burpees”, apparently the brainchild of BGI Fitness, this clustered concoction had you rolling around the like a spasmodic earthworm. The swings were as expected. I have discontinued use of the 1.5 pood kettle bell. So, my acclimation to heavy swings helped. My round count: 36, 25, 16, 13 = 90 total repetitions in the eight minutes of work. The wod was taxing, but nothing requiring a TTO. My effort earned third in the event.
WOD #2
25” Box Jumps max reps in 3 mins.
1 min. rest
Pull-Ups max reps in 3 mins.
1 min. rest
115# Thruster max reps in 3 mins.
Straight forward, numbers here were limited by restrictive standards. Box jumps required full hip and knee extension with feet firmly planted on top of the platform. The inability to immediately bound from the top of the box slowed the entire field. Box jumps not being the first bullet on my resume, I set an even pace at 25 per minute, finishing with 75. For pull-ups, the chin had to break the plain directly over the bar, eliminating the prospect of the butterfly kip. Not surprising, this had an adverse effect on my ability to produce desired results. I maintained sets of 10 with minimal rest into the final reaches of the last minute. I tallied 60 total, but truly thought 70-75 was possible before taking the stage. Most of the top competitors stumbled here; I expected to see larger numbers. Box jumps and the day’s previous events reeked havoc on my legs during the thrusters. I opened with a straight set of 15, resting prior to complete implosion, but doing enough damage to curtail the final product. In retrospect, taking these on in sizeable chunks, maybe 10 at a time with ample rest would have been the best attack strategy. I finished with 165 reps, ending day one in eighth overall. Within striking distance, I readied the cannons, my strongest events to come. However, this narrative would bring misery without physical discomfort.
DAY II
ReplyDeleteWOD #3
Ground to Shoulders 1RM
Overhead 1RM
10 min. time limit
Total # amassed btw the two movements
As the morning light ascended on the spectrum, residual muscle soreness gave way to power fed by adrenaline. Ready to make my move, a strong finish in this wod would set the stage for domination. I opened my lifts at 245#; selecting to clean and jerk, not focus on each movement individually. Second attempt: 260#. Less than five minutes into the workout I had reached 270# (my pervious PR). Two failed attempts wasted precious time and energy. The wod was held in the street, the taper of the pavement continually pulling me forward on the clean. For my third attempt, I moved the bar to the center of the road, an effort to find a flat surface. Seconds dwindling away, dire necessity produced results. A 540# (270# for each lift) total landed me 12th. A strong finish, many of the top contenders lost points in the strength event, I moved into fourth overall heading into the finale.
WOD #4
ReplyDelete1500m Row
400m Sand Bag Carry
2000m Trail Run
For time
As I depart for the final wod my overt facial expressions read clearly, a shrewd grin professing: “Save three hours and hand me the trophy, if you’re lucky I’ll sign the 8x10 glossy for your wife.” Thoughts of glorious revenge beckon, as this program is my mainstay. Smooth and easy, my 1500m row ends at ~5:50 and it’s on to the sandbag. The course is fair, moving over rolling terrain for 300m with approximately 100m of a hard down then up hill battle. Slow and steady, no need to tap the reserve; my forte is just around the corner. At the pinnacle of the accent, I drop the 60# of dead weight and drop the hammer. My stride opens quickly as vengeful thoughts of retribution feed the Turbo. No one in my heat is close. I expeditiously close the gap on the slower members of the preceding group. My battle conscious mind swears off pain and fatigue, embracing the sweet taste of fortune and glory. The final climb toward the finish reveals goose bumps as time slows, a year’s worth of effort flashes through the confines of my brain. Awaiting ahead, my hardened comrade Russ, standing to take me to the finish. Within seconds it over, everything I stand for, all that I have, left exposed for Now, it’s just a matter of results.
The final wod was scored/timed using electronic timing chips with no contingency. Within an hour my time is posted, the result: 19:17. Immediately I recognize this as an obvious mistake. Throughout the weekend many competitors, including myself, had scoring inaccuracies resulting from any number of oversights. So, naturally I assumed an input error as the times were uploaded. The issue was addressed with the head judge; he assured it would be corrected. Two hours later, I’m informed that the chip indicates my official as posted. There is no further method to evaluate the validity of the results.
I did not time myself. I paid a $100 registration fee to be “professionally” timed and scored. Ironically, during the event brief for the final wod, I addressed the issue of a contingency plan. The response: “There is none, we are using the chip.” I’ve competed in numerous endurance events and road races, all use timing chips as the primary method of tracking athletes. However, all of those events also keep a continuous running clock and record heat times in case of discrepancies. There was no such system in place here. I will never know my true time or the correct overall results, but I am as certain as a teddy bear has cotton balls, it didn’t take me 10 minutes to run 2000m (6:00 row; ~3:00 sandbag). I suspect my timing chip was set off somewhere in the holding area prior to starting. In which case, my clock was running as I stood around waiting to begin.
The bigger issue is lack of planning and foresight. How many other athletes might have been affected without their knowledge? It is inexcusable to run an event of this magnitude, with such stakes, and completely over look the possibility that an electronic system might fail. But, it is not surprising! This is the CrossFit mentality, 16-hour experts, 15 minutes snatches, PVC pipe. I hesitate to imagine if this error would have dropped my position out of regional qualification. Nonetheless, the process moves forward with more high-octane fuel to feed a starving engine.
What is the famous adage? "Never leave it up to the judges." Unfortunately the chip was the judge. I always wondered why, despite use of the chip, everyone hit their watches at the starting line. At least, in the event of a failure, you have peace of mind knowing your true time and all is not lost. What is worse? The fact that it failed or that they didn't have a back up plan? Live by technology and die by technology, especially if it isn't employed correctly. Sounds like they're learning as they go.
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